A few years when I first found out about affirmations I was more than just excited about them and the potential of what they could do for my life. I suppose it was a bit like a near year’s resolution. I started doing them on the first day and continued the following days but somehow along the way I lost the habit of doing them.
Over the years I have attempted to re-start affirmations a few times but it never really stuck. In her book “the Desire Map” Danielle Laporte writes that affirmations are like screaming that you are okay in order to overcome the whisper that you are not. If I am really honest with you when I first read this sentence this really messed with my mind because it was so contrary to anything I had read about affirmations before.
Danielle goes on that you should always affirm the truth otherwise you are creating inner tension and conflict. This means that we are plastering over the difficult truths with happy thoughts that are false and maybe even damaging. At this point our mind think that we are lying and there is this inner conflict going on.
Fear is natural and normal and deserves respect and compassion. Research has shown that positive thinking does work and that it can be helpful to talk ourselves through certain situations. However the key for me was that it has to come from a place of truth and honesty.
So if I have an important meeting and I am anxious, it is about telling myself the truth. “I am anxious. I desire that this meeting goes well and that there is a positive and productive outcome. I believe that I have got what it takes and that I often have great ideas. For example when I worked on the project last month I got recognised for the improvements I made.”
By my above approach I stay within my integrity and the whole process is helpful. At no point is my brain thinking that I am lying or not telling the truth. There is no resistance. Just the truth and reality. A life changing approach perhaps. Try it out and let me know how you go in the comments below.
Here are some steps to help through this process
- Look in the mirror and state the truth (any feelings).
- Go through some helpful beliefs.
- Think back of some past successes.
- Say what you are doing and what is working right now.
- Put in your desires.
- State your intention.
A goal is a like a seed. If the seed is given the right environment it may turn into a stunning flower or a tree that will bear fruit for years to come. Though in order for that seed to sprout it will need to find its way in the dark, it will become undone and the seed will completely change.
Affirmations set the scene and are like the environment for the seed. They create the conditions so that the seed or in this case the goal will be able to come to flourish. Affirmations are positive statements into which your goals can be incorporated. I love affirmations and they have had an enormous impact in my life.
We all get those not so good days in life. It is almost like you get out of bed and from that point things start to fall over. This effect feels like a chain reaction. Once things start to fall over you generally wonder whether it would have been smarter to stay in bed. To see whether affirmations actually work why not do an experiment on one of those days. Start telling yourself “it is an awesome day and everything flows easily and effortlessly” and see what happens.
Last weekend I learned about AfFORMations by reading Noah St John’s book (The Afformation Book). In his book he recognises that often when we start using affirmations we might not believe what we are actually saying. This is called the belief gap. For example if you are using the statement “I am rich” that little voice in your head might go “Seriously? Have you seen the balance in your bank account?” Do you know that little voice in your head? That little voice that is not exactly most encouraging and supportive. Sometimes you wonder whether you could just give this voice a serious beating to take down its volume. However there is a strategy that might be able to help.
The author proposes to transform your affirmations into questions. When you ask yourself a question you will find that your brain is searching for an answer even if you do not know the answer yet. Your brain assumes that the statement made within the question is already true! This makes the use of afFORMations much more powerful.
Here are the steps so that you can start using afformations today:
- Transform your affirmations into afformations. It is important to start the question with why. For example for the affirmation “I am rich” you could use the afformation “Why did I become rich so easily?”
- For each afformation list three actions that you can do today and of course start taking action. For afformations to work you still need to take action. Do not worry whether it is the perfect action but just do something that will move you closer to your goals.
- Use your afformations daily. You can say them out loud, you can do your own recordings, you can write them out and you can read them. And even better, do all of the above.
If you implement the above steps then please share your experiences in the comments below.