A few years when I first found out about affirmations I was more than just excited about them and the potential of what they could do for my life. I suppose it was a bit like a near year’s resolution. I started doing them on the first day and continued the following days but somehow along the way I lost the habit of doing them.
Over the years I have attempted to re-start affirmations a few times but it never really stuck. In her book “the Desire Map” Danielle Laporte writes that affirmations are like screaming that you are okay in order to overcome the whisper that you are not. If I am really honest with you when I first read this sentence this really messed with my mind because it was so contrary to anything I had read about affirmations before.
Danielle goes on that you should always affirm the truth otherwise you are creating inner tension and conflict. This means that we are plastering over the difficult truths with happy thoughts that are false and maybe even damaging. At this point our mind think that we are lying and there is this inner conflict going on.
Fear is natural and normal and deserves respect and compassion. Research has shown that positive thinking does work and that it can be helpful to talk ourselves through certain situations. However the key for me was that it has to come from a place of truth and honesty.
So if I have an important meeting and I am anxious, it is about telling myself the truth. “I am anxious. I desire that this meeting goes well and that there is a positive and productive outcome. I believe that I have got what it takes and that I often have great ideas. For example when I worked on the project last month I got recognised for the improvements I made.”
By my above approach I stay within my integrity and the whole process is helpful. At no point is my brain thinking that I am lying or not telling the truth. There is no resistance. Just the truth and reality. A life changing approach perhaps. Try it out and let me know how you go in the comments below.
Here are some steps to help through this process
- Look in the mirror and state the truth (any feelings).
- Go through some helpful beliefs.
- Think back of some past successes.
- Say what you are doing and what is working right now.
- Put in your desires.
- State your intention.